


A Time Remembered

by twinsarein



Category: Smallville
Genre: First Time, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinsarein/pseuds/twinsarein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompter was looking for a story "where Clark had blocked all his Metropolis Kal memories and something triggers the memories back.  Brownie points if he remembers all the gay sex he had  and his memories flood back at an inopportune time with Lex."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Time Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for _Phoenix_ \- it helps to know this episode. There are a few places where I refer to an event in the story, but don't want to interrupt the flow by spelling it all out again. It shouldn't be too hard to understand though, even if you've never seen the episode.
> 
> This is an old story, and one that just came to my attention I never posted here.

I carry the wicker chair from the house to the moving van and shove it in. I’ve already cost my parents so much, now they're losing the farm and there isn’t anything I can do about it. Life can really get screwed up way too quickly.

“Am I too late for the farm auction?”

Lost in my pity party, I'm startled by the unexpected voice and turn around quickly. Then, I can only stare incredulously. “Lex.” I'm so stunned that I can’t force out anything louder than a disbelieving whisper.

Lex quirks a smile at me. “Three months on a deserted island was almost worth it to see the look on your face right now.”

Standing frozen for no more than a few seconds, I can feel my face almost split in two with a huge smile, Lex’s smile is only slightly smaller. We meet mid-way between us for a hug that has me feeling for the first time like I've really come home.

A few minutes later, we're both sitting in the loft with a glass of lemonade and a plate of cookies that we'd purloined from Mom’s kitchen. We're looking out over the fields, taking in the warm sunshine, and enjoying each other’s company. For once we're sitting on the same side of the telescope, so as to better share the cookies.

“Clark, are you sure there's nothing I can do to help your family keep the farm?”

I look over at Lex and then down at my free hand clenched on my thigh. “I can’t think of a way, Lex. You know how much pride my dad has. He never likes to feel he owes people anything. Unless there's a way for you to make it seem like you owe him big somehow, I don’t think he’d take the money from you.”

Lex seems to start at my words and then aims his gaze towards the fields in the distance. “There might be a way, Clark.”

“What?! Really? What could my dad have done for you?”

“You’ll see.” Lex smiles secretly, and I know that it won’t do me any good to push for answers.

For a while we both sip our lemonade and munch on cookies in a companionable silence. God, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed him.

“Lex, can you tell me anything more about what happened to you and what went wrong?”

Lex looks over at me, his eyes haunted with sudden memories and I feel bad for asking. I open my mouth to retract the question, but Lex starts speaking before I can.

“How it happened is still under debate, as to what… I…I can’t talk about it right now, Clark. It wasn’t pretty, I can say that much, but I have a lot to sort out first. Ask me again in a few days, okay?”

I look over at him and want to pull him into another hug; he looks so vulnerable right now. I resist because I know he'd see it as pity. I do reach out and put my arm around his shoulders. He stiffens at first, but quickly relaxes, even leaning into me slightly. For him to do that, I know whatever happened to him was bad. “Lex, I’ll wait as long as you need. You know I’ll always be here for you when you want to talk, right?”

“Yes, thank you, Clark. You know the same goes for me. If you ever want to tell me what happened to drive you to Metropolis, or anything about what happened to you while you were there, I’ll be glad to listen. It isn’t the friendliest place for farmboys.”

It's my turn to stiffen up, and Lex turns to look at me. We're so close right now that I can see the specks of color in his blue eyes. I feel my stomach clench. Most likely it's because he brought up my own summer from hell.

“Thanks Lex, but it doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t. I can’t remember anything that happened from the time I left the farm until my dad came to bring me home.” I don’t mention the ring, but essentially the time missing from my memory is the same amount of time I was wearing it.

Lex’s eyebrows go up at this and he looks at me in surprise. “Nothing?”

“Nothing. I know I did some things I shouldn’t have, and I hurt some of my friends’ feelings when they tried to help me, and my dad got physically hurt bringing me home, but for the months I was there, all I get when I think of it are feelings of nausea. If I try and force it, I get dizzy.”

Lex puts his hand on my leg and squeezes in silent support. I'm hyperaware of his touch for some reason, but mentally shrug off the strange sensation.

“Don’t try to force it then, Clark. It'll most likely come back soon. I’m here for you, too, when it does. Can you tell me then, why you went to Metropolis in the first place?”

I shift uncomfortably and take my arm from around Lex’s shoulder. I hunch in on myself and wrap my arms around my body.

“Clark?” I can hear the concern in Lex’s voice, but I'm too filled with shame and guilt to speak right away. “Clark?” He puts a hand on the shoulder closest to him and tries to pull me around. I resist a little, but then let him do it. My head is down, but he must see enough. “Oh, Clark.”

He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug, rubbing his hands up and down my back. “Clark, talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

I start shaking a little and he starts crooning near my ear and rocking me. It isn’t until then, that I realize that tears are running down my face and hitting his neck. Once I realize that, I start sobbing outright. I don’t know about my missing months, but in the time I do remember, I never cried. Not once. I've been holding it in ever since I got home. I didn’t think I deserved to put my grief on top of my parents, and I’m not exactly on friendly terms with most of my friends right now.

Lex just continues to rock me and croon nonsense sounds; eventually he also starts stroking my hair. That works to help calm me a little and I nuzzle closer. I feel him tense a little when I do, but he quickly relaxes. He doesn’t stop his comforting of me until I've stopped shaking and my breathing returns to normal.

He pushes me back a little. I don’t want to go and resist at first, but eventually back away. He brushes my bangs off my forehead and looks at me in deep concern. “God, Clark, what happened?”

I swallow and then clear my throat, but I need to talk to someone about this and he is my best friend. “I…I killed Mom’s baby, Lex. I did something that caused an explosion on the farm. Mom was hurt because of it and she lost her little girl.” I feel the tears threaten again, but take some deep breaths to prevent any more from escaping.

“Clark, Jesus. You’ve been carrying around that guilt all this time? It was an accident, Clark. A horrible, tragic, unfair accident, but just an accident.” I try to look away, but he grabs my head in both of his hands and forces me to look at him. “It was just an accident, Clark. You weren’t trying to hurt anyone. I know I can’t convince you just by telling you that, but think about it, alright?”

I don’t think I'll ever stop blaming myself for what happened, but sharing it with someone does help a little. I feel lighter than I have since I returned home. “Okay, Lex. Thanks.”

He drops one hand from my head, but threads the other through my hair. It feels so good that I can’t help but make a soft sound of approval and lean into his hand.

Lex smiles at my obvious enjoyment. “Like that, do you?”

I smile back as he continues the movement. “Yeah, feels good.”

His eyes darken in a way I don’t understand, and he drops his hand from my hair. 

“Lex?”

“Sorry, Clark. I’ve got to get going. I still have a lot to sort out so I can get my life back.”

He stands up and quirks a small grin at me. I scramble to stand with him, so I can walk him out to his car. “Sure, I understand. Can I…Would it be okay for me to stop by after school one day?”

“Of course, Clark. You should know by now that you're welcome at the mansion anytime.” He slides into his car and takes off in a cloud of dust.

I might've known that before, but something changed between us today. I'm not quite sure what it is, and only time will tell if it's for the better or not, but something's definitely changed.

+++++++++++++++++++

I manage to get through three days at school without going over to the mansion, but then I just can’t stand it anymore. I burst into his study, slam the doors behind me, throw myself onto his couch, and bury my face in one of the throw pillows.

I hear Lex chuckle as he shuts his laptop and walks over to join me. He sits next to me and he pats my head. I make a pleased sound and arch up to his hand so he'll know to not stop. I hear him swallow hard for some reason, but then he chuckles again and changes from pats to strokes. I relax into the couch with a sigh.

“Bad day, Clark?”

“Bad day, bad week, bad month, bad year, bad life! Take your pick, Lex.”

“Shhh, Clark. Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll fix it if I can.”

I prop myself up on my elbow a little so I’m not speaking into the pillow, but stay low enough so I don’t disturb his stroking hand. It feels so good. In fact, a little too good, and I have to shift a little so my filling cock has more room. I don’t think a lot about it, except that I don’t want Lex to know. He might feel uncomfortable and stop what he's doing if he realizes how it's affecting me. 

I don’t want to have to explain how something as simple as seeing people squeeze and stroke produce in the grocery store can still do this to me. In fact, since I came back from Metropolis, seeing people wrap their hands around things like carrots and zucchini is turning me on much more than people squeezing melons ever did when I was thirteen. Those are thoughts for another day, however. In any case, it’s irrelevant right now. The point is, it doesn’t take much stimulation these days and it would be too embarrassing to talk about if he notices what's happening.

“It isn’t something you can fix, Lex. It’s just all the teachers are walking on eggshells around me, the principal has ordered me to see the guidance councilor twice a week, the kids who don’t know me stare at me constantly and whisper as soon as I pass by, and my friends aren’t speaking to me. When I go home, conversation is stilted with my parents and they act like they have to walk on eggshells around me too, like if they speak too harshly to me I’ll run away again.” I look up suddenly and catch a strange look on Lex’s face. It is almost like longing, but it is gone too quickly for me to be sure I had seen anything. “I just don’t know what to do to make things better, Lex.”

I bury my face back into the pillow and Lex, who'd dropped his hand when I looked up, resumes his stroking motion. I sigh and sink deeper into the couch. “Clark, I know you're impatient and want things to be better immediately. However, as much as you don’t want to hear it, it's going to take time for your life and the people around you to go back to normal. You're going to need to be patient and understanding because apparently your missing time hurt several people a great deal. You have a lot of work ahead of you in regaining their trust and belief in you. Just remember, whenever it gets to be too much, you're welcome to come here and get a break from it all.”

“God, Lex. It's all so hard. How come you aren’t acting all weird and angry at me? I had to have hurt you too when I didn’t show up at your wedding.” I look up again quickly, but don’t surprise any more odd expressions on his face. I prop my chin in my hands and gaze up at him.

His hand slides from my hair again and I make a disappointed sound at the loss, but he doesn’t start up again. “I was hurt at the time, Clark. A lot has happened to me since then, though, and I understand now that there were circumstances keeping you from attending. I also was not here all summer worrying about you and trying to find you.”

“I really screwed up, didn’t I? I wish you'd been around. You would've found me fast and convinced me to come home. You would have said something convincing and quoted me something from history that would have made me laugh and I’d've let you talk me into seeing my parents again.”

Since I'm staring right at Lex, I see the pleased expression flit across his face before he covers it up with a small smile. He's opening his mouth to say something, when what he already said finally sinks in all the way. “Lex, about your summer…are you ready to talk about it, yet?”

“No, not yet, Clark.” He quickly changes the subject and I let him because I can see how uncomfortable he is. We spend the rest of the afternoon chatting about inconsequential things and eventually getting up to play a game of pool. All too soon I have to head back to the farm to do my chores, unfortunately.

+++++++++++++++++++++

My days for the next few weeks settle into a pattern of school, chores, and a visit to see Lex. My parents are still being careful around me and my dad’s feelings towards Lex have mellowed after he found a way to convince my dad to accept his help with the farm. As a result, they haven’t said much about the amount of time I'm spending with Lex. My friends are still treating me like a pariah, but the rest of the school is calming down a little, so at least a couple of things are going right for me.

I'm over at Lex’s almost daily and our afternoons go pretty much as the first one had. I flop face down on the couch and Lex stops whatever he's doing to come join me. Sooner or later, and usually sooner, his hand winds up in my hair as we talk. Usually it's about my day, but I'm slowly getting him to open up about his experiences on the island and his fears about the hallucinations he had. I feel us getting closer by the day as we share confidences and try to help each other through our problems.

About two weeks into this new routine, Lex hurts his arm a little during a fencing practice. It pains him to extend it out from his body for any length of time. When he finally tells me why he's having trouble stroking my hair, I don’t even think about it, I just turn over onto my back and put my head in his lap. I draw my legs up and put a throw pillow, the one I usually use, on my stomach to hide the growing problem with erections I'm having in Lex’s presence. From then on, I put my head in his lap as soon as he sits down.

I'm not so sure anymore that my erections are just my age and what ‘teenage boys go through’ as the health teacher told us. I think I might be gay, but I don’t know how to be sure. I also still haven’t remembered my missing months in Metropolis. I’m not sure why thoughts of being gay makes me think of Metropolis either.

Thoughts like these make my head whirl, and I'm glad my parents aren’t fighting me on how often I go to see Lex anymore. I find his presence soothing. Not just because he strokes my hair either, although it certainly helps. No, what's really soothing is how he accepts me as I am and doesn’t make judgments. I’ve never felt that kind of acceptance before, except from my parents.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Another couple of weeks go by, pretty much the same as the last few, but for some reason when a thought pops into my mind today, I don’t just lift up my head to look at him. Instead, I roll off the couch and kneel at Lex’s feet. There's a topic he's been avoiding, and I want to totally focus on him. I figure this position will let me do that best.

He looks down at me with a startled look on his face. I look up at him and realize that this position seems familiar. I had slid into a settled position very quickly, like I've knelt at people’s feet a lot, but it isn’t something I've ever done, so I'm confused by the feeling of familiarity.

I shake my head to banish the strange sensation. I need to focus on Lex right now. I put my hands on his knees and stare up at him through my bangs. “Lex, we’ve talked about everything else. Why won’t you talk to me about Helen and what she did? Are you trying to find her? Please, Lex. Please let me help you with this too. Talk to me. Please.”

“Jesus Christ, Clark! Don’t look at…”

I see him physically bite off what he was going to say and then clench his hands on his thighs. “Lex? What’s wrong?” I take both of his hands in mine and rub my thumbs over his knuckles. As he looks down at me, I suddenly see the faces of other men, strangers, superimposed on Lex’s face. There's a backdrop, like the wall of a building, behind them, the same building for all of them, and they are all looking down at something…or someone…like Lex is looking at me right now. Only their eyes don’t blaze with emotion like his do or sear through me with any intensity like his does.

I blink rapidly and the…hallucination…disappears. What the hell was that? I mentally give myself another shake to get rid of yet another weird sensation and refocus on Lex. He seems closer and his gaze is doing funny things to my insides. “Lex?”

“Clark, God.” He extricates one of his hands from mine and threads it into my hair. My eyes slide closed and I nuzzle into the touch with a slight smile on my face. “God, Clark. You would try the patience and the virtue of a saint. Don’t…freak on me, baby.”

Baby? I open my eyes just as Lex’s lips touch mine, and my mouth parts on a gasp. His eyes are open and watching me as his tongue slips inside and strokes mine. That's all I see as my own eyes close in pleasure as he explores my mouth softly and oh so gently. I press up into him and whimper. His hand clenches briefly in my hair at the sound, but then he starts to slowly pull away from me. 

I don’t want this wonderful feeling to end yet, though, so I push up into him a little more. I hear him laugh breathlessly, and he bites my bottom lip and then laves it with his tongue. “You taste like purity and innocence, Clark.” I whimper again and start rubbing my hands on his knees and thighs because I have to move, to do something with all this feeling he's generating in me.

He tries to trap my hands, to stop them from moving, but I easily dodge his attempt. I slide my hands around his hips to cup his ass and drag him forward, into me. I don’t know what instinct made me do it, but when our erections rub together I'm glad for it. We both moan, and Lex starts panting against my mouth. “God, Clark. You make me want to corrupt you. What a beautiful, cocksucker’s mouth you have. I want to have it surround me with heat and suck me until I come.”

At the word cocksucker, I stiffen slightly as a few strange images pop into my mind. As the rest of what he says filters through, I yank myself away and double over as memories start stampeding through my mind. All the crimes I committed, all the people I hurt, but worst of all, is all the men. In bathrooms, in alleyways, in clubs, in their offices or apartments. I’m sucking them, fucking them, letting them suck me. Always it starts with the same phrase – ‘what a cocksucker’s mouth you have.’

The images continue to bombard me with their lewdness. How could I have done all of those things? Why'd I do them? I'm filled with horror and self-loathing.

I'm rocking back and forth, my arms wrapped around my knees, when I hear Lex calling my name and shaking me. He must have been doing it for a while because he's sounding frantic. “Clark, Clark, God, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, what did I do? God. Clark. Clark!”

He thinks it's something he did? I’m too dirty to be in decent company ,and he thinks it’s his fault? “Not you, Lex.” I look up at him, my face contorted in self-disgust. “I remember. I remember everything I did. Every perverted, disgusting detail.” I scramble up, away from him. “I...I have to go. I…I’ll see you around, Lex.”

I don’t dare leave at super speed until I'm out of sight, but I start running from the room.

“Clark, stop!” 

I don’t, I can’t, stop. I yank open the study doors. I shouldn’t be around decent people right now.

“Clark!”

I race down the hall. I don’t know where I am going to go, but I need to get away.

“Damn it, Kal! Get back in here.”

I'm halfway down the stairs when that hated name brings my flight to a halt. 

I turn around and gape up at Lex who is at the top of the staircase.

“Lex, how did…I don’t understand how…where…howdoyouknowthatname?”

Lex just stares down at me for a few seconds, his hands clenched into fists, and I swallow hard in nervousness.

“We aren’t doing this out here. Come with me.” Abruptly he turns on his heel and heads back to his study.

My thoughts are whirling with what I've just heard from Lex and from everything that I've remembered about my lost summer. I stare after Lex and slowly start to follow him.

++++++++++++++++++++

By the time I get back to the study, Lex has poured himself a drink and is seated on the sofa we'd just…just been making out on. I blush as I think of it, especially when my newly returned memories fill in what could have happened if I hadn’t freaked when they flooded back.

I start to get hard as I think about me and Lex like that, until I realize how I got the knowledge. Then I'm filled with shame and my growing erection quickly fades. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that I can’t get off of.

“Clark! Snap out of it. Go get yourself something to drink if you want, and then come join me.”

I jump at his voice, but it has the desired affect and helps me refocus a little. I grab a water and join him on the couch. I slouch forward, my forearms on my knees, and play with the water bottle in my hands.

Lex just stares at me until I look up. Until I finally do, he doesn’t say a word.

“Clark, what is your estimation of my intelligence?”

The question startles me because it wasn’t how I'd been expecting him to begin. “Um, gosh Lex, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Why?”

He ignores my question for another one of his own. “And what kind of friend would you say I am?”

“You’re the best, Lex. I couldn’t ask for a better one.”

“Okay then, if I'm so smart and I’m such a good friend, and that I'm rich goes without saying, then what do you suppose I did, knowing my best friend had months missing from his memory and only knows he did some things he shouldn’t have done?”

“Well, I…well…” I’m at a loss. It had never occurred to me that Lex would do anything. “I guess I never thought about it, Lex.” 

“Then think about it now, Clark.”

It doesn’t take long to come up with the answer once I actually do think about it. “You tried to find out what I did during those months, didn’t you? Lex…”

He slides off the couch and crouches in front of me, grasping my hands in his, almost mirroring my position from before my memory return. Of course, now I understand why his eyes darkened when I did it.

“Clark, I had to find out. I had to be sure that nothing you did was going to come back and make life difficult for you.”

“So…you were doing it to…protect me?”

“Yes, that's it exactly, Clark.” He tightens his grip on my hands. “You didn’t exactly leave a hard trail to follow Clark. The papers picked up most of your crime spree, the people you injured were very willing to talk, and the club you frequented…” He hesitates and looks at me square in the eye before he continues. “…had many surveillance cameras all around the inside, as well at the entrances, and…alleyways.” 

He finishes his thought as gently as he can, but I still blanch when I hear that. I try to bury my face in my hands, but he won’t let me go. My eyes widen in horror as it really sinks in, and it's all I can do to force out a strangled whisper. “Oh, god. You know don’t you? You know what I did, how I acted with all those…those men?”

I try to tug my hands away again, but he still won’t let go. I try to sit back to get more distance that way, but he just climbs on the couch and straddles my lap. “Lex, oh god, Lex. How long have you known, when did you find out, how much did you…see?” My voice trails off into a shamed whisper, but he cups a hand under my chin and doesn’t let me look down either. If I wasn’t so worried about hurting him in my agitation, I’d yank myself out of his grasp. As things stand though, I don’t dare. All I can do is look at him in my misery, my eyes welling with tears of shame. Tears I refuse to shed, that I don’t deserve to shed.

“Clark…baby…don’t look that way, please.”

“How can I not, Lex? The things I did, the way I acted, you must be so disgusted.”

“Clark…” He purses his lips and sighs, and gives me a look that lets me know I’ve missed something obvious. “Clark, I’ve known since a week after that first day on your farm, when you first told me about your memory loss. Have I been acting disgusted?”

“You’ve known that long?” I’m not sure how I feel about that. Why did he keep it from me?

“Don’t think I was hiding the information from you, Clark. I just thought the memories should have a chance to come back on their own. There had to be a reason you buried them and I didn’t want to hurt you by forcing it. Every once in a while I would fit a hint into our conversation, but the memories must've been buried deep, because nothing worked.” He reaches out and strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers.

I nuzzle into his touch for a few seconds, but then remember how unclean I am now. I jerk away from his hand. “How can you NOT be disgusted, Lex? I’m a thief and had sex with…”

He puts his hand over my mouth. “I know how you acted goes against how you were raised, but don’t start dwelling on it, Clark. It’s in the past. I didn’t fare any better than you through my teenage years. I broke laws, did drugs, and had sex with a large number of people. I did it for a couple of years, though, not months. I’m not telling you this because I'm proud of what I did or how I acted back then. However, it was when I finally dug myself out of the morass I'd created that I decided to fight my father in a different way and become a better person. Those experiences helped shape the person I am today, and they'll help shape you, too. You just have to decide on how – will they make you stronger or weaker, better or worse?”

He starts ghosting his lips across my face, and I close my eyes to better enjoy how I feel when he does it. “Lex.” His name falls breathlessly from my lips as he continues his enticing touches, until I remember… “Lex, no. You can’t mean it. Before I…before my memories came back, you said I tasted like…like…” In my sorrow at knowing I don’t deserve these next words anymore, I drop my voice to a whisper and stammer them out. “…p-purity a-and in-innocence. I’m not…you can’t…”

His lips covering mine cut off my stammers, and I moan at the feel of his soft lips pressing into mine. He slowly backs away and I watch his tongue flick out and run across his lower lip avidly. “Clark, I didn’t say that because I thought you'd never had sex before. I said it because that's how I see you, and how I see your inner nature. You could live to be one thousand and have sex with a million men, and you will still be essentially you – believing the best of people, helping where you can, and enjoying new experiences. You might have a darkness in your soul that came out this summer, but fundamentally you were still a decent person. A lot of what you did was done because of grief and anger. In spite of that, you had a line that you didn't cross. What you did could've been so much worse, Clark. You would have done much worse if it wasn’t for that inner spirit that you, even in your anguish, couldn't completely extinguish.”

I start to shake my head, but he captures my chin with a hand and forces me to look at him. My breath shudders out at the conviction blazing from his eyes. “Lex. Lex, I…” I try to look away from the force of his belief, but he doesn’t let me.

“Clark, whatever else you believe, know that while the darkness may be a part of you and a part that you don’t like or that scares you, I embrace all of you. Nothing that's a part of you will ever disgust or scare me.”

“Lex.” I blink tears from my eyes at his acceptance and pull him closer for a hug. When I do, our erections brush together and we both moan. I'd been so wrapped up in what he was saying that I hadn’t even noticed that I was growing hard. I hadn’t noticed that I was reacting to his closeness, his caring, his passionate belief in me. 

I pull back and search his eyes for any hesitation at my touch, or a hint that he doesn’t mean everything he’s said. It’ll take me a while to come to grips with what I've done, but Lex’s conviction that I'm still a good person helps a lot. I'm finding it's easier to believe in yourself if someone else believes in you first.

The last several weeks, Lex and I have been building something new together. Before my memories came back, I didn’t completely understand what was happening, or how exactly our relationship was changing. I just knew that I liked it, that I enjoyed our new closeness. Now I do understand, and know that I want what we're building to continue, I want that closeness to grow.

With my newfound knowledge, I slide my hands down his back slowly, to give him time to protest, and grip his ass to pull him closer. He puts his arms around my neck and strokes the back of my head with one of his hands. I close my eyes and smile in happiness and relief. Then I reach up to draw his face down to mine and do something I've wanted to do for weeks, but wasn't ready to admit to myself. I suck his upper lip into my mouth and explore that sexy scar.

Lex moans at my touch and that galvanizes me into action. I gather him closer and take us to the floor, cushioning Lex’s landing and holding myself above him. I grind down into him gently and slide my mouth around his jaw and suck and nibble on his earlobe, while one hand quickly rips the buttons off his shirt so I can get at his chest. He arches under me and moans again as I pinch a nipple. 

“No hair at all, Lex? God, that is so sexy.” I slide the palms of my hands over his shoulders, down his arms, and back up to his chest, enjoying the silky smooth feel of him on my own skin. Then I use both hands to pinch and roll his nipples. I move my mouth to his neck, sucking hard enough to leave a small bruise. He moans for me again and thrusts his hips into me. I bite the mark I've made and lower my hands to his ass, to drive our erections together again.

If nothing else good came out of my time in Metropolis, at least it taught me that I can have sex and not harm my partner, although with Lex, this act will never be as mundane as having sex. It might be fucking, it might be making love, but it will always be more than the simple pleasure of release that ‘having sex’ brings.

Lex’s hands have been busy and my flannel shirt is unbuttoned and my t-shirt underneath all untucked, so I sit back on my heels and peel them both off at once. I start to lean forward, but stop when Lex asks me to wait. I sit back again and shiver as his eyes slide over my chest like fingers. I can feel my eyes darken as his tongue slides out to lick his lips.

Since I'm straddling him right now, I lower my hips and brush over his erection once, twice. A tiny bit of revenge for being made to wait. My eyes close at how good he feels, and I guess it wasn’t a very good revenge, because it's even harder to wait now than before. Lex’s breath hitches and he arches up a little for me. “…undressed, Clark. Finish getting us undressed.”

I moan at the huskiness of his voice and quickly divest him of his shoes, dress socks, and trousers. I'm in such a hurry to get him naked that I forget to enjoy what I'm unveiling. So when I drop his clothing behind me and turn back around, I catch my breath and freeze. He lies on the carpet, completely exposed to my gaze for the first time. Miles of pale, smooth skin seem to stretch before me as I try to take him all in. His eyes watch me watching him, his mouth slightly open, his pulse beating rapidly in his neck. 

“So beautiful.” The whisper leaves my lips before I realize I was going to speak, but I don’t apologize for it. He is beautiful.

He arches a little again as my gaze travels down his torso, putting himself on display for me. My own breath hitches when he does it, but I don’t let that stop my gaze from wandering lower. His nipples are both hard little points that I want to bite and his hard stomach has a belly button that I want to explore with my tongue, but I don’t want to stop looking yet. My eyes continue to be drawn inexorably lower. My gaze finally rests on his cock and I see it jerk when I moan at seeing the head leaking for me, the long length of him bobbing as he tries to thrust up a little. I'm mesmerized by a lone pearl of precome welling over and sliding down his length to his balls.

I lean over to lick it off, but am stopped by Lex’s hand in my hair. I whine at being denied my goal and his hand jerks, but he doesn’t remove it. “Clark, finish first.” I looked at him blankly, my head too full of the things I want to do to Lex to comprehend what he wants, at first. “Clark, please. Finish undressing, I want…god, I want to see you too.”

I swallow hard at the huskiness of his voice, but get off of him to sit at his feet. I look up the long length of his body and lick my lips as I start to remove my own socks and shoes. I turn and lean against the couch so I can lift my hips a little to slide my pants off. I hear Lex moan as my cock bobs free of my pants and boxers. I look down at myself and see that the head is peaking beyond the foreskin a little. I've never been turned on enough for that to happen before, and I look at Lex with all the desire I'm feeling showing in my face.

He moans for me and the sound jerks me back into action. I cover him with my body and I slide over him, rubbing my whole body against him. He jerks under me and grabs my hair to get my attention. “In me, Clark. I want you in me.”

I whine at the thought of how he would feel as I slide into him, but… “Lex, I want…I need…” I hang my head and try to think around the desire filling my mind.

“What is it, baby? Tell me what you need; I’ll give you anything you want.” I look up at the sincerity in his voice and know it’s true. He would give me anything and suddenly it’s a lot easier to say what I'd been thinking.

“Lex, when I was in Metropolis I never let anyone touch my ass, or f-fuck me. I want you…please, I want you in me. I want you to be my first.”

In a flurry of motion, Lex is reaching between us and grasping his cock in a grip that looks painfully hard. “Christ, Clark. Give a man some warning before you say things like that.”

I grin down at him unrepentantly, until I feel him release his own cock and grab mine. He pumps hard three times and my eyes glaze over and I let out a guttural groan as I throw my head back at the ecstasy that flows through me at his touch.

“On your back, Farmboy.” I gasp at the growl in his voice and hurry to comply. When I'm settled he straddles me and subjects me to the same scrutiny I gave him earlier. I writhe under his gaze, as it has an almost physical feel to it. My nipples are hard enough to cut glass and my belly quivers as his eyes settle there and seem to trace the lines of my abs. I writhe again, wanting him to move on, lower. It works and his gaze is drawn to my cock, jutting almost straight up because I'm so hard, the foreskin completely drawn back for him now, exposing the leaking head. My cock jerks as it hardens an impossible increment more under his gaze and I moan in need and desire.

“Lex, please. Touch me. I want to feel your hands on me. Please.” I thrust up under him, lifting him off of his knees. His eyes darken more at my movement, but he still doesn’t touch me. I whimper as he leans away, but understanding shivers through me when I see him rummaging by touch in the drawer by the couch. 

Lex’s movement pushes his cock out though, and I'm quickly distracted by that instead. I reach out and touch him with only one finger, swirling it around the head and dipping into the slit. His hips jerk and he moans. He straightens up, luckily with the lube and condoms in his hand, and falls forward over me. 

His knees are still straddling my thighs and now his hands are bracketing my shoulders. He’s breathing heavily and I hold his gaze as I bring my finger to my mouth and suck it clean. Lex shudders and he yanks my finger out of my mouth and crashes his lips down onto mine. He bites at my lips, making me jerk and thrust up, trying to get some friction on my diamond hard erection, but he just pulls away.

He doesn’t go far though, and he starts biting and sucking his way down my body. My neck, shoulders, nipples, chest, stomach and navel all feel the sharpness of his teeth. I can’t stay still under him, especially when I feel one of his hands traveling ahead of his mouth. He wraps it around my cock and just holds me as his mouth finishes its journey down.

His mouth hovers over my cock as I continue to writhe under him and thrust up, trying to get him to put his mouth on me faster. He doesn’t descend that last inch I need though, and I think I might go crazy as I feel his breath ghosting over the wet head of my cock. “Lex, please. Oh god, Lex, please touch me, suck me, let me feel your mouth on me. Please, oh god, pleasepleaseplease. Lex! Now. Damn it, please.”

“Christ, Clark. You're always gorgeous, but when you beg…God! Don’t stop talking, baby. Let me keep hearing you.” 

Then he opens his mouth and takes me all the way down. I scream at the sudden sensation of being engulfed in the wet heat of Lex’s mouth. Only the control I learned in Metropolis keeps me from coming at that moment. “Leeeex! Oh god, don’t stop. More. Harder. Please, Lex. Oh please. Your mouth, so good…best…no one else…please, Lex. Please, I need…I need…”

He slides off my cock with an extra hard suck that makes me writhe again. “What do you need, Clark? Tell me.”

I look him in the eye, no flinching. “I need you in me, Lex. Please. I want you inside of me.”

He stares at me for a few seconds, breathing hard, but then grabs a condom and slides it on. I make a sound of protest at the sight, but don’t say anything. This isn’t the time. He slicks himself up first and then puts some more on his fingers. “Watch me, Clark. Watch me put a finger inside of you.”

God, just the words make me moan and my eyelids flutter, but I don’t let them close. He pushes my knees up and back and I grab them when he tells me to. He sits on his heels and stares at me, all exposed and open, and I discover that even after remembering Metropolis, I can still blush.

I see him reach between my legs, and, at the first touch of his finger against me, my eyes slide shut. The touch is quickly gone, and I open my eyes to see what’s wrong. “Don’t close your eyes, Clark. Watch me.” He says it softly, but I know he won’t touch me unless I do what he says.

He reaches for me again, but this time pushes right in. I gasp at the sensation and pull my legs a little wider as his finger slides all the way inside. I manage not to close my eyes, so I get to see Lex’s darken even more and then narrow to glittery slits as I widen my legs for his hand. “God, Clark!” I see him swallow hard before he continues. “I knew you would be this way. So passionate in giving it all up for me.”

He adds another finger before I can respond, and I can feel him scissoring them inside of me. All I can do is moan at the feel of him and tilt my hips to give him better access. He adds a third finger and I gasp at the stretch and at how full I feel. He starts thrusting and twisting his fingers and I feel him bump something inside of me that makes me jerk and spurt a jet of precome. My mouth opens on a silent gasp as he does it again, harder. 

I let go of my legs to grab my cock, but he bats them away with his free hand and growls at me. “Mine, Clark. That’s mine to touch.” 

He leans over and sucks just the head of my cock into his mouth. At the same time he drags his fingers over that spot inside me and suddenly I'm struggling even harder not to come. “Now, Lex. In me. Now. Please, now! Lex! Please, Lex, I can’t…I can’t…Lex! Oh, please.”

I feel his fingers leave my body as he gives my cock one last lick. I whine a protest, but he quickly lines up against me and starts pressing in. I finally have to tear my eyes away from him to throw my head back, as he continues to slowly slide in. When he's finally seated balls deep, I moan loudly as the feeling of him stretching me wide consumes me. It makes me move restlessly. I need more. “Lex! Feels good. Please, Lex. More. Please, give me more. Move. Oh God, please.”

He watches me writhe for him a little longer, but finally pulls out and thrusts back in, hard and deep. “Yes! Yes, Lex. Like that. Again!”

“Christ, Clark! Yes! You're so goddamn hot. Wrap your legs around me, baby.” When I do, he starts thrusting faster and deeper, and my cock is sliding against his belly. I know I can’t last much longer, and I want him to come with me.

I glide my hands down his back and, with my longer reach, I'm able to slide a finger into his crack of his ass and rub against him. His rhythm stutters briefly, but he soon finds it again, going even faster and harder than before. The tip of my finger just slips into his heat as he pulls back to thrust into me again. I groan at the feel and start coming, clenching hard around him. Lex shouts my name and I can feel his come filling the condom inside of me.

Lex collapses on top of me and I drag a throw off the couch and cover us, then wrap my arms around him. I caress the back of his head with one hand and then rain kisses over his face and rub our cheeks together. I feel him slowly start to shrink inside of me until he finally slips out altogether. I make a small sound of disappointment, and he chuckles as he sits up to tie the condom off and throw it towards the trashcan.

Lex lies back down on top of me and I grin in delight and hold him close, covering him with the throw again. I nuzzle against his bald scalp and lick off a small bead of sweat. He shivers against me. “Don’t do that, Clark. I’m not ready for another round yet.”

I smile against him, tempted to prove him wrong, but subside instead. I want to enjoy a different kind of closeness right now. One I never indulged in, in Metropolis. One I have never wanted to indulge in with anyone else. I grab a pillow from the couch to give my head a better angle, then kiss him lightly on the lips. I slide my hands up and down his back, alternating between rubbing and kneading as I go. Lex hums against me in pleasure, completely relaxed.

Something occurs to me and I don’t want to break the mood, but the thought is persistent. “Lex, may I ask you something?”

“Mmhmm.” He snuggles down closer to me and who’d have believed it, Lex enjoys cuddling. I smile at the thought and hold him closer, but the thought won’t let go.

“Lex, earlier, after our first kiss…” I pause as I feel him tense against me and I know that I'm right. “…did you say that on purpose? That line about my…my cocksucker lips.”

Lex sighs and tries to push away from me, but I don’t let him up. He finally subsides and crosses his arms on top of my chest and rests his head on them so he can look at me. “Yes. I didn’t want to sully our first kiss with words like that, but I…I just wanted…”

“You just wanted to help me remember and didn’t want the opportunity to pass you by. I get it, Lex. I’m not mad or anything, just thinking back on it, it seemed like an out of place remark and I was curious.”

He nods in relief and smiles at me a little. He uncrosses his arms from my chest and starts tracing patterns with his fingers. I capture his hands in mine and bring them to my mouth for a kiss. “Something on your mind, Lex?”

“I just…are you sure this is what you want, Clark? A relationship with a man? Until Metropolis, you always went after girls. Are you sure you’re not confused about what, or who, you really want because you just remembered?”

“No, Lex. It's because of Metropolis that I finally admitted what I really wanted and stopped denying a truth that I've always kept hidden, even from myself. A truth that I've never shared with anyone.”

Lex looks at me curiously, waiting for me to continue.

“Lex, boobs scare me.”


End file.
